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Talk to your children about sexual
development, behavior & abuse.
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Use proper names for body parts (penis
and vagina) and phrases like "private parts are private and
special."
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Tell your children "if anyone touches or
tries to see their private parts, tries to get them to touch
or look at another person's private parts, shows them
pictures of naked people, tries to take pictures of them
without their clothes on, talks to them about sex, walks in
on them in the bathroom or does anything that makes them
feel uncomfortable" to tell you or a "support person" the
next time they see you or as soon as they can.
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Tell your children that, some "children,
adolescents and adults" have "touching problems."
These people can make "secret touching" look "accidental"
and they should still tell you even if they think it was an
accident.
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Tell your children
that "touching problems" are kind of like "stealing or
lying" and that people who have those kinds of "problems"
need "special help" so they don't continue to "touch
children on their private parts," upset people and get
themselves in trouble. Don't describe it as a
"sickness" and make sure that the child understands it's
always
the older person's fault, no matter what that person might
tell them.
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Tell your children that some people try
to "trick" kids into keeping the touching a "secret."
Tell your children that "we don't want those kinds of
secrets in our family" and anyone who tries to get them to
keep secrets like that from you is breaking your family
rules.
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Give your children examples of things
that someone might use to try to get them to keep it a
secret like candy, money, special privileges, threats,
separation or punishment.
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Tell your children that touching other
people's private parts is not OK for children to do or for
adults to do with children. Tell them that you do not
want them to do "secret touching" with other people but that
you will not be mad at them if they do come and tell you it
has happened. Even, if it has been happening a lot.
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Talk calmly about "all" safety issues at
least tow or three times a year. Develop a family plan
for answering the phone/door, getting lost, fire safety,
being exposed to drugs/alcohol, bullying and "secret
touching." Play "what if" games with them about a
variety of safety issues on a regular basis.
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Make sure your
children have support people they can talk to at home, at
school, in their extended family, neighborhood or church.
Have them pick out three people and tell you who they are.
Put the phone numbers next to your phone and let them know
that if, for any reason, they cannot talk to you - that they
should call/or go see another support person if they are
having problems of any kind.
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Participate in
"Love and Logic" parenting education through your school or
community education resource. If classes are not
available, you can contact us and we can help bring them to
your area.